That link up top that says “Conservative Atheist Survey” has brought some attention, both positive and negative, to my inbox.


First, the positive.


Thank you, all of you, who responded.  I’ve received a few dozen responses so far, but need a lot more to make this an effective study.  The sheer range of responses I’m getting are actually unexpected… I was thinking I’d be getting many of the same responses, but there are so many different opinions and explanations that this final report will be longer and more detailed than I expected.  Again, all of you are going to remain completely anonymous and will not be identified at all in my final report, but I am still extending my unequivocal appreciation to those who have and who will respond.


And now, the negative.


I love the response I got last night that was a simple two-word response from someone named “Fred Flintstone.”  I believe it was something to the effect of “fuck off.”  Nice.  Thanks, guy.


The response was, I believe, from a jackass on a reddit thread I posted to solicit some responses to this survey.  This guy stated in all caps a WARNING that an email address is required to complete the survey because the responses need to be emailed to me, and that the only respondents that should respond are those who are too stupid to understand that I’m just existing to steal identities and send out spam.  I promptly called him a fuckstick and a conspiracy theorist who felt everyone was out to get him.  Honestly, I barely have time for this website and podcast (yeah, I know, I said it’s coming by October 1st… but a thing called midterms happened and I had to shift priorities) so why the actual fuck would I have time or desire to steal identities or send out spam?  Come on, really?  I’m paying for this fucking site out of my own pocket and not making a dime from it…


The other negativity was from a few Twitter followers who were trying to tell me that the survey was biased and skewed toward a liberal point of view.  That’s kind of the point.  I want to stir up the emotional response of an opinionated conservative so that they give their first response instead of backspacing and rewording their responses for the sake of being less biased or more neutral in their explanation.  Atheists are known for rational, logical thought, and I’m seeking just that… but the emotional inference in a hastily written response because I pissed someone off by how I worded a question is also what I’m looking for.  People are more likely to provide a truthful, meaningful response instead of a carefully worded, watered down response when emotion is used.  That’s my full intention on the wording of this survey, and believe me, it took a while to write these questions.


I know I don’t have many viewers of this site at the moment, but for those of you who do visit, please spread the word about this survey to any socially conservative atheists you know.  The help really is appreciated.

So, I tweeted this:

This I get this:

I’m looking to dump $1000 or more on a soundbar, and I figured I’d at least go demo the thing so I can see if it sounds as good as (or better than) my current surround sound setup.  The device is rather high end so it’s a “Magnolia-only” item, which means above-average intelligence-bearing associates should be working in that area of the store.  I find the device, and ask for a demo.  A blue shirt can’t figure it out, so he asks an associate in a shirt and tie who says “Yeah, I’m trying to fix this other junk right now” but hobbles over to the TV.


The first thing he does?  He unplugs the power to the soundbar.


The next thing he does?  He goes to the display next to this one to make sure the cable is run from the player next to this one all the way over to the sound bar in front of me… because, you know… there’s no sense in having a player hooked up to every single TV and sound system in a high-end place that sells high-end audio and video equipment.  Fine.  I’ll allow this.  Reluctantly.


Remember how he unplugged the power to the soundbar?  I told him he unplugged the power and he said “yeah, I know, I’m just making sure it’s plugged in.”


Ladies and gentlemen, we have the Einstein of audio/video on our hands.


He plugs it in, and fumbles with a remote and a bunch of sources pop up on the screen, one of which says “Bluetooth.”  Hey!  I have a smartphone with a Spotify subscription, maybe I can stream some audio from Spotify to the device?


“No, it doesn’t have Bluetooth, and even if it did, there’s a million Bluetooth devices in here and I don’t know which one to use.”


Fair enough.  The TV itself had Bluetooth and no audio output to the soundbar.  But really?  A million Bluetooth devices?  If this guy was above-average intelligence and worked in the Magnolia section, he should, in theory, know how to sync a Bluetooth device.  Fail.


His attitude then became reminiscent of a caged-up angry dog (hey, I’m being nice because I’m linking this post to the people at Best Buy so they can see the disaster on their hands).  After more fumbling and a lack of willingness to help further, I told him to forget it and informed him that his attitude sucked worse than anyone I’ve ever dealt with in a retail store.  He said, in a very sarcastic tone, “Have a nice day, sir!” and gave the Princess Diana wave.


Oh yeah, it’s store manager time.


Hi, Mr. Store Manager, how are you?  Yeah, your boy Nick back there?  He just cost you a $1000+ sale on a soundbar.  Nice job.  What’s that?  You’re going to get not one, but two of your best employees back there to help me, even though they were the ones who called over this other guy with the crap attitude to help me in the first place?  Sure!  I’ll give them a shot… again…


10 minutes later, still no working demo, but significant pressure to just buy it anyway without hearing it.


Nice try, scumbags, but I’m not buying this from you.  In fact, I’m tempted to return the portable hard drive I just bought and buy it from another local competitor who cares about their customers and has actual working demos in their store.


So, Alex at @BestBuySupport, do tell me exactly how you’re going to satisfy me after this less-pleasing-than-dealing-with-the-IRS situation you’ve just put me through.  I’m extremely curious to see how you’ll prove that Best Buy is going to dig their way out of this one.

Alright, last post/update/page/whatever for the night.


So I got an @ mention on the Tweety tonight.



Then I replied.



Seriously, if you’re going to spam a ton of Tweety accounts because you have an app or a bot that searches random hashtags (tonight it was probably #Emmys) and then tweets at users who have used that hashtag, at least set your bot to correctly tweet at people so you can actually give them the discount you’re trying to promote.  Otherwise, your “company” that employs cheap foreign labor that produces products with a children’s flesh content above the FDA allowed guidelines only looks like a bunch of fuckups who failed so horribly at life that you have to rely on an unreliable method of advertising your shit product that’s overpriced for shit quality.


Also, if you really want to impress me, go make more products than just a fucking 4-foot lightning to USB connector, because I do not, and never will, own an iPhone.  Make a mini-USB cable and I’ll raise an eyebrow, but I won’t buy from your waste of a dotcom domain and un-air-conditioned warehouse space that houses $.35 per day laborers making your joke of a product.

Dammit, I’m tired of the ALS ice bucket challenge videos.  Seriously.  Knock it off.

Basically, you’re too cheap to donate $100 (or fuck it, $20 for all I care) to ALS, a terminal illness that turns you into an immobile lump of flesh and bone after some years of suffering from motor function failure.  Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (or Lou Gherig’s disease, which ironically, recent studies may have found that Lou Gherig didn’t actually have Lou Gherig’s disease) destroys the muscles, so maybe the origin of the ice bucket challenge was to shock some movement back into the muscles since having cold water dumped on your head makes you jump around like a fruitcake.

So Pete Frates basically went viral with this challenge a while back (or so I saw on an ESPN special) and started to have people raise awareness of ALS by dumping ice cold water on their head, and the penalty for wussing out was to pay $100 to ALS research.  The chain reaction began, but maybe not from Frates.  I’m seeing sources everywhere saying it started somewhere in the UK to a golf pro.  Either way, now it’s getting out of hand.

(Sidenote: I love when people say they’re supporting ALS.  Think about what you’re saying, morons… you’re supporting a disease that immobilizes and kills people?  Oh, right… you’re supporting the research to find a cure for the disease… thanks for clarifying.)

There are four videos that I’ve seen that made me quite happy.  The first was Charlie Sheen’s answer to the challenge, where he donated $10k to ALS research.  That’s saying a lot, considering that money could have bought a lot of blow… and a lot of blow… from his favorite ladies of the evening.

Sir Patrick Stewart’s response to the challenge was even more epic, and effectively drove the proverbial nail in the coffin, hopefully ending this waste of time.  (If you watch the video closely, you can see him actually writing out the numbers 100.00 on the check, which isn’t as much as Sheen’s donation, but the point is that SIR PATRICK FUCKING STEWART has won the ice bucket challenge.)

The third video is of a woman in a bikini top with a large bucket in front of her, spouting off names of people she’d like to challenge, including Adam Sandler (because she loves him that much… *puke*), and then proceeds to, umm… yeah, I’m not going to spoil it.  Just shut up and watch.

Even Steve-O had something to say about it, and he was disgusted by what has been a complete tragedy.  Since Steve-O has cleaned himself up, he’s become significantly more wise (albeit still missing a few brain cells from getting slammed in the head too many times) and is able to think significantly more clearly than before.  The man drives the point home in his response.

But he’s right… does the ice bucket challenge really raise any awareness, or as Alison McDaniel put it, doesn’t it just make you an attention whore?  Yes, I was challenged to dump water on my head, but instead, I donated cashola to ALS research.

Donate here and stop being attention whores if you don’t even know how to spell Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis.

Even though the donate page has a large obvious reference to the ice bucket challenge, the A-list celebrities mentioned on their page are at least raising the awareness and getting the word out about the disease, unlike most of the videos we’ve seen on social media that are simply an excuse to not give $100 to a research association to try to find a cure to this disease.

What’s next, the fire challenge for cancer research?

Save water, donate money.

Let’s keep the first post short and sweet… only because the reading involved on the below linked page is long enough.




Click it.  Read it thoroughly.  Understand my cause.  Then support me by spreading the word to everyone you can.  I’m not asking you to agree with me or every point I make, but I want you to understand the logic (or lack thereof) in what I speak.  Asking each of you to agree with the points I make is like a religious fanatic asking me to follow the word of their deity.  It’ll never happen.


If nothing else, be entertained, and be angered by the blatant disregard of logic that I expose.