(Preface: I’m not being paid by anyone to write this, I’m not endorsing any cellular phone service provider or hardware manufacturer, I’m simply highly against Sprint’s marketing tactics and filling in the blanks that they leave wide open.  Also, I’m pissed that they repeatedly lie about their service expansion in certain markets… like Maryland, where I’m based.  So, as such, I shall troll the troll.)

 

I couldn’t help but notice that Sprint has been pushing an awful lot of marketing lately, effectively trolling the other big carriers in the United States saying that their prices are so much cheaper, they’ll cut your cell phone bill in half, give unlimited everything, etc.

 

A screaming goat was used to show the “reaction” of the other carriers.  This goat was actually more of my reaction than anything else.

 

If you’re reading this, the primary reason this post exists is to troll back at all of the reply tweets that Sprint has been posting to Twitter users complaining about their cell phone providers.  No carrier who has received a complaint via Twitter has dodged a jab from Sprint, stating something to the effect of:

And this:

Or this:

Or, then there was this that amused me (along with countless other shameful plugs of their new ad campaign):

Kevin Durant has a fake law firm, complete with fake phone number that, when called, is a pre-recorded message with Kevin Durant making horrible basketball references… or, press option 3 and you’ll hear the theme to The People’s Court… or a bad porno, can’t really tell from the horrible sound quality… not that I’m surprised considering it’s Sprint…

 

Listen, I despise all of the wireless carriers in the United States just as much as the next guy… but this blatant trolling is just too much, especially since Sprint is the worst of the biggest four carriers in the country.  Wireless services are entirely too expensive already… Asian countries with more densely populated areas have less expensive wireless rates for similar, if not higher tiers of service.  Sprint is already chopping bills in half (as long as you get the exact same service with Sprint that you currently have with Verizon or AT&T since T-Mobile is excluded from the promo… some bullshit excuse about how Sprint already has “extremely compelling” pricing available) to save people money, but they’re not telling you how their coverage is an absolute disaster.

 

Incoming image spam:

Sprint Map

Sprint Map

Verizon Map

Verizon Map

AT&T Map

AT&T Map

T-Mobile Map

T-Mobile Map

Image sources:

  • http://opensignal.com/networks/usa/sprint-coverage
  • http://opensignal.com/networks/usa/at&t-coverage
  • http://opensignal.com/networks/usa/verizon-coverage
  • http://opensignal.com/networks/usa/t-mobile-coverage

 

Holy red blobs of coverage, Batman!  Verizon has ridonkulous 4G coverage while Sprint barely has more than T-Mobile!  Ironically, T-Mobile has almost 2.5 times the max download speed of Sprint, which happens to be the slowest download speed provider in the country.  Shockface!

 

The other aspect that really pisses me off is how Sprint has repeatedly lied to myself and someone else helping with the War On Idiots concept about their coverage expansion.  I find it very hard to believe that one of the largest cities in Maryland only has 3G coverage from Sprint, yet a redneck town 15 miles away has full LTE coverage.  We asked Sprint via direct messages on Twitter when 4G coverage was coming here, and were given the same generic answer we received over a year ago when we asked back then… “We expect upgrades to be complete within 90 days.”

 

Yeah, well… you said that a year ago… and now we’re holding you to it.  You only have about another month to complete your 90 day upgrades.

 

Speaking of which, check these out:

Sprint Network Types

Sprint Network Types

Verizon Network Types

Verizon Network Types

AT&T Network Types

AT&T Network Types

T-Mobile Network Types

T-Mobile Network Types

Verizon:  destroying the competition with LTE network coverage.  Sprint:  3rd place.  No wonder they won’t cut a T-Mobile bill in half.

 

So here’s the deal.  Sprint is NOT the best carrier in the country, has many stipulations on actually flipping over to their service and cutting your bill in half (check the FAQ here), is slow, is sparse, lies to you, has shit-tastic customer service (full report from Computer World here) to which I can personally attest from their retail stores to phone-based customer care, and is overall just a plain outright terrible company.

 

I guess they’re just that desperate for subscribers that they have to troll Twitter users… so, I’ll just troll back.

This is part 1 of a series of posts about Bose, the world’s shittiest and most useless audio company.

 

So I read this:

 

http://www.macrumors.com/2014/10/09/nfl-no-beats-rule-fines/

 

Excerpt:

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been fined $10,000 for wearing Apple’s Beats by Dre headphones following a ban on the brand after the NFL signed an exclusive deal with Bose.

 

Bose has a slogan of “Better sound through research.”  I sold Bose products for years and can assure you that the “better sound” they produce isn’t through research.  It’s through subliminal marketing and specifically selected sound clips that are built into their demo units that are tuned exclusively for their products to sound good.

 

Here’s some reality… they’re overpriced pieces of cardboard.  You know those little cube speakers?  The drivers are made out of compressed wood pulp, also known as paper/cardboard/sawdust.  The rubber surrounds are foam.  The impedance is somewhere around 1 ohm or less on some of their proprietary amplifier/speaker combo units, meaning that there’s no resistance for their underpowered amplifiers and higher amounts of distortion at high volumes… if there’s such a thing as “high volume” from a Bose device.

 

Their headphones are equally as shitty.  I have an old pair of Beats Solo headphones, one of the first pairs ever created under the Beats brand, and I rather like them.  The main pair of headphones I use when doing my podcast or other listening is a pair of Shure SE535 in-ear monitors.  I’ve demo’ed a pair of Bose QC3’s and the more recent release of QC25’s and I absolutely despise the lack of clear low-end bass from these headphones.  I would highly recommend these headphones to anyone who enjoys listening to anything reminiscent of Kenny from South Park.

 

There were two mottos we used to parody Bose… one was “Better sound through marketing.”  The other was “No highs, no lows, must be Bose.”  The specially designed demo sounds were digitally recorded clips from Telarc Studios, a recording studio with 100% digital equipment from input to output, eliminating any potential for analog noise or distortion.  An old music group called Industrial Monk recorded their album Magnificat at Telarc Studios, and I must say, the sound quality of that album is absolutely beautiful.  This explains why Dr. Omar Bose hand-selected this studio to record their demo sounds.  Dr. Bose was a marketing genius… more about why in a future post, but for now, let’s leave it at the fact that he knew how to demo his products to make them seem better than the competition, but in reality, they suck ass.

 

The other motto of the no highs or lows comes from the fact that the frequency response of their speakers and headphones was utter shyte compared to comparable headphones that you get for free with your shiny new smartphone.  I’ve never been able to find any spec sheet with detailed specs of frequency response or other information such as the material makeup of their speakers or drivers in their headphones, which leads me to believe they know they make a shit product, they’ll just never admit it.  I remember in my Bose vendor training years ago that they said their frequency response was just the same as the competition’s product, but yet I could hear a clear difference between their crappy paper cones and the kevlar drivers in the higher end products that cost less than Bose.  So basically, the frequency response of their product, while advertised as awesome, was just a fucking joke.

 

Now that the NFL has ousted Motorola as their headset provider for all of the coaches on the sidelines and replaced them with the overpriced Bose headsets, Bose has, in their usual fashion, demanded exclusivity.  These fuckers are some of the best marketing geniuses in existence and blatantly lie to their potential customers through deceptive advertising, but still make billions a year off of the lemmings who think “OMG BOSE IS THE BEST!!!1!11eleven”

 

The next post tells the full story about why the Bose Waveradio of yore was the best selling AM/FM radio on the planet for $350, and why the Sears company was banned from selling it………

That link up top that says “Conservative Atheist Survey” has brought some attention, both positive and negative, to my inbox.

 

First, the positive.

 

Thank you, all of you, who responded.  I’ve received a few dozen responses so far, but need a lot more to make this an effective study.  The sheer range of responses I’m getting are actually unexpected… I was thinking I’d be getting many of the same responses, but there are so many different opinions and explanations that this final report will be longer and more detailed than I expected.  Again, all of you are going to remain completely anonymous and will not be identified at all in my final report, but I am still extending my unequivocal appreciation to those who have and who will respond.

 

And now, the negative.

 

I love the response I got last night that was a simple two-word response from someone named “Fred Flintstone.”  I believe it was something to the effect of “fuck off.”  Nice.  Thanks, guy.

 

The response was, I believe, from a jackass on a reddit thread I posted to solicit some responses to this survey.  This guy stated in all caps a WARNING that an email address is required to complete the survey because the responses need to be emailed to me, and that the only respondents that should respond are those who are too stupid to understand that I’m just existing to steal identities and send out spam.  I promptly called him a fuckstick and a conspiracy theorist who felt everyone was out to get him.  Honestly, I barely have time for this website and podcast (yeah, I know, I said it’s coming by October 1st… but a thing called midterms happened and I had to shift priorities) so why the actual fuck would I have time or desire to steal identities or send out spam?  Come on, really?  I’m paying for this fucking site out of my own pocket and not making a dime from it…

 

The other negativity was from a few Twitter followers who were trying to tell me that the survey was biased and skewed toward a liberal point of view.  That’s kind of the point.  I want to stir up the emotional response of an opinionated conservative so that they give their first response instead of backspacing and rewording their responses for the sake of being less biased or more neutral in their explanation.  Atheists are known for rational, logical thought, and I’m seeking just that… but the emotional inference in a hastily written response because I pissed someone off by how I worded a question is also what I’m looking for.  People are more likely to provide a truthful, meaningful response instead of a carefully worded, watered down response when emotion is used.  That’s my full intention on the wording of this survey, and believe me, it took a while to write these questions.

 

I know I don’t have many viewers of this site at the moment, but for those of you who do visit, please spread the word about this survey to any socially conservative atheists you know.  The help really is appreciated.

So, I tweeted this:

This I get this:

I’m looking to dump $1000 or more on a soundbar, and I figured I’d at least go demo the thing so I can see if it sounds as good as (or better than) my current surround sound setup.  The device is rather high end so it’s a “Magnolia-only” item, which means above-average intelligence-bearing associates should be working in that area of the store.  I find the device, and ask for a demo.  A blue shirt can’t figure it out, so he asks an associate in a shirt and tie who says “Yeah, I’m trying to fix this other junk right now” but hobbles over to the TV.

 

The first thing he does?  He unplugs the power to the soundbar.

 

The next thing he does?  He goes to the display next to this one to make sure the cable is run from the player next to this one all the way over to the sound bar in front of me… because, you know… there’s no sense in having a player hooked up to every single TV and sound system in a high-end place that sells high-end audio and video equipment.  Fine.  I’ll allow this.  Reluctantly.

 

Remember how he unplugged the power to the soundbar?  I told him he unplugged the power and he said “yeah, I know, I’m just making sure it’s plugged in.”

 

Ladies and gentlemen, we have the Einstein of audio/video on our hands.

 

He plugs it in, and fumbles with a remote and a bunch of sources pop up on the screen, one of which says “Bluetooth.”  Hey!  I have a smartphone with a Spotify subscription, maybe I can stream some audio from Spotify to the device?

 

“No, it doesn’t have Bluetooth, and even if it did, there’s a million Bluetooth devices in here and I don’t know which one to use.”

 

Fair enough.  The TV itself had Bluetooth and no audio output to the soundbar.  But really?  A million Bluetooth devices?  If this guy was above-average intelligence and worked in the Magnolia section, he should, in theory, know how to sync a Bluetooth device.  Fail.

 

His attitude then became reminiscent of a caged-up angry dog (hey, I’m being nice because I’m linking this post to the people at Best Buy so they can see the disaster on their hands).  After more fumbling and a lack of willingness to help further, I told him to forget it and informed him that his attitude sucked worse than anyone I’ve ever dealt with in a retail store.  He said, in a very sarcastic tone, “Have a nice day, sir!” and gave the Princess Diana wave.

 

Oh yeah, it’s store manager time.

 

Hi, Mr. Store Manager, how are you?  Yeah, your boy Nick back there?  He just cost you a $1000+ sale on a soundbar.  Nice job.  What’s that?  You’re going to get not one, but two of your best employees back there to help me, even though they were the ones who called over this other guy with the crap attitude to help me in the first place?  Sure!  I’ll give them a shot… again…

 

10 minutes later, still no working demo, but significant pressure to just buy it anyway without hearing it.

 

Nice try, scumbags, but I’m not buying this from you.  In fact, I’m tempted to return the portable hard drive I just bought and buy it from another local competitor who cares about their customers and has actual working demos in their store.

 

So, Alex at @BestBuySupport, do tell me exactly how you’re going to satisfy me after this less-pleasing-than-dealing-with-the-IRS situation you’ve just put me through.  I’m extremely curious to see how you’ll prove that Best Buy is going to dig their way out of this one.

Alright, last post/update/page/whatever for the night.

 

So I got an @ mention on the Tweety tonight.

 

 

Then I replied.

 

 

Seriously, if you’re going to spam a ton of Tweety accounts because you have an app or a bot that searches random hashtags (tonight it was probably #Emmys) and then tweets at users who have used that hashtag, at least set your bot to correctly tweet at people so you can actually give them the discount you’re trying to promote.  Otherwise, your “company” that employs cheap foreign labor that produces products with a children’s flesh content above the FDA allowed guidelines only looks like a bunch of fuckups who failed so horribly at life that you have to rely on an unreliable method of advertising your shit product that’s overpriced for shit quality.

 

Also, if you really want to impress me, go make more products than just a fucking 4-foot lightning to USB connector, because I do not, and never will, own an iPhone.  Make a mini-USB cable and I’ll raise an eyebrow, but I won’t buy from your waste of a dotcom domain and un-air-conditioned warehouse space that houses $.35 per day laborers making your joke of a product.

See that link on the top bar of this page?  In case you don’t, it’s this: http://www.waronidiots.com/conservative-atheist-questionnaire/

 

I need y’all to help me out.  I’m doing a spot of research on conservative atheist principles, meaning, how conservative atheist principles correlate to conservative Christian principles.  Obviously, atheists don’t have the Bible to fall back on when forming their opinions on society and the direction it should take, and as such, are a rare breed.  However, I know they exist, so if anyone out there is or knows someone who is an atheist with conservative principles, please go to the above link and take the survey.  It’s not a form that can be filled out… it needs to be emailed to conservatheistsurvey@gmail.com because of the types of responses.

 

I know that will bring up privacy concerns considering the controversial nature of this site and its content, but please be assured I have no interest in spamming you or identifying you when I report my findings back on this site and on a future podcast.  Please  don’t think for a second that I’ll be contacting you repeatedly afterwards.  I may reply to your email with a simple “thank you” or ask another question or three if I want some clarification, but I promise you I have no interest in contacting you to bash your responses.

 

Additionally, if you’re interested in receiving a copy of my findings, please make that request in your email so I can send you a copy once I’ve compiled everything together.

 

Again, the survey can be found here.

Dammit, I’m tired of the ALS ice bucket challenge videos.  Seriously.  Knock it off.

Basically, you’re too cheap to donate $100 (or fuck it, $20 for all I care) to ALS, a terminal illness that turns you into an immobile lump of flesh and bone after some years of suffering from motor function failure.  Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (or Lou Gherig’s disease, which ironically, recent studies may have found that Lou Gherig didn’t actually have Lou Gherig’s disease) destroys the muscles, so maybe the origin of the ice bucket challenge was to shock some movement back into the muscles since having cold water dumped on your head makes you jump around like a fruitcake.

So Pete Frates basically went viral with this challenge a while back (or so I saw on an ESPN special) and started to have people raise awareness of ALS by dumping ice cold water on their head, and the penalty for wussing out was to pay $100 to ALS research.  The chain reaction began, but maybe not from Frates.  I’m seeing sources everywhere saying it started somewhere in the UK to a golf pro.  Either way, now it’s getting out of hand.

(Sidenote: I love when people say they’re supporting ALS.  Think about what you’re saying, morons… you’re supporting a disease that immobilizes and kills people?  Oh, right… you’re supporting the research to find a cure for the disease… thanks for clarifying.)

There are four videos that I’ve seen that made me quite happy.  The first was Charlie Sheen’s answer to the challenge, where he donated $10k to ALS research.  That’s saying a lot, considering that money could have bought a lot of blow… and a lot of blow… from his favorite ladies of the evening.

Sir Patrick Stewart’s response to the challenge was even more epic, and effectively drove the proverbial nail in the coffin, hopefully ending this waste of time.  (If you watch the video closely, you can see him actually writing out the numbers 100.00 on the check, which isn’t as much as Sheen’s donation, but the point is that SIR PATRICK FUCKING STEWART has won the ice bucket challenge.)

The third video is of a woman in a bikini top with a large bucket in front of her, spouting off names of people she’d like to challenge, including Adam Sandler (because she loves him that much… *puke*), and then proceeds to, umm… yeah, I’m not going to spoil it.  Just shut up and watch.

Even Steve-O had something to say about it, and he was disgusted by what has been a complete tragedy.  Since Steve-O has cleaned himself up, he’s become significantly more wise (albeit still missing a few brain cells from getting slammed in the head too many times) and is able to think significantly more clearly than before.  The man drives the point home in his response.

But he’s right… does the ice bucket challenge really raise any awareness, or as Alison McDaniel put it, doesn’t it just make you an attention whore?  Yes, I was challenged to dump water on my head, but instead, I donated cashola to ALS research.

Donate here and stop being attention whores if you don’t even know how to spell Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis.

Even though the donate page has a large obvious reference to the ice bucket challenge, the A-list celebrities mentioned on their page are at least raising the awareness and getting the word out about the disease, unlike most of the videos we’ve seen on social media that are simply an excuse to not give $100 to a research association to try to find a cure to this disease.

What’s next, the fire challenge for cancer research?

Save water, donate money.

Let’s keep the first post short and sweet… only because the reading involved on the below linked page is long enough.

 

http://www.waronidiots.com/the-war-has-begun/

 

Click it.  Read it thoroughly.  Understand my cause.  Then support me by spreading the word to everyone you can.  I’m not asking you to agree with me or every point I make, but I want you to understand the logic (or lack thereof) in what I speak.  Asking each of you to agree with the points I make is like a religious fanatic asking me to follow the word of their deity.  It’ll never happen.

 

If nothing else, be entertained, and be angered by the blatant disregard of logic that I expose.